Super Get Get Show

So You Think You Know Cavite

2006-03-31T14:17:00.001+08:00

What is the name of the bridge between SM Bacoor and the rest of the intersection between Aguinaldo Highway and the Coastal Road?

How many statues of Emilio Aguinaldo are there in Cavite?

You know it. You pass by it everyday. Where is the St. John's Driving school?

Name the bridge between the Aguinaldo Shrine and Island Cove.

What is the vertical clearance (in meters) of the overpass on the west wing of SM?

When is the Noveleta town fiesta?

The windows of the Noveleta town hall which appears in the business permits issued for 2006 are colored turquoise. True or False?

What is the name of the air base of the AFP located in Cavite City?

The C4 road extends to Noveleta. True or False?

The minimum fare for all air – conditioned buses in Cavite is 25 pesos. True or False?

The Face of Fascism

2006-03-31T14:17:00.000+08:00

The past few days have not been uneventful. But I have kept these things to myself knowing that any attempt to divulge any of the following information may result in my untimely death. This has been the last words of my captor, my friend – the face of fascism.
I was walking along the dark dreary street of Pedro Gil towards my humble lodgings when all of a sudden a white Mitsubishi L300 van whizzed by. I paid no heed to it since I was too tired from my trip from Cavite. It was nothing new. Reckless drivers in the middle of the night were just as common as druggies along this street.
The van made a sudden turn blocking my path ahead. In broad daylight, it would make all the difference in the world. But it was the middle of the night. And in one fluid motion, the door opened and six men in black jackets and black ski masks rushed outside. One of them hit me with the butt of a Colt .45 automatic pistol and the world spun and faded away into darkness.
I woke up in a familiar empty warehouse. The light overhead was blinding and I took some time before I adjusted to the brightness. All I could see was a hazy figure perhaps in his mid - 40’s. His face was concealed in the darkness.
My breath was heaving and forced and yet I could not breathe. The air was thick in smoke – Marlboro Reds Blue Seal. The more I struggled with the thick ropes binding me to a chair, the more I could not breathe. How ingenious was my captor. I knew that this could not have been made by an inexperienced goon. This could only be the work of one man – DML!
But this assumption was readily disproven, because my captor signaled for something and a man in a black jacket and a black ski mask brought in a laptop – part of the unbelievable Toshiba Satellite M40 Series in the limited edition silver/blue finish.
My captor proceeded to show me pictures of me and her. In my pain and agony, I could not help but admire her rare pulchritude – the innocence of years in spent in meaningful seclusion and a beauty which may as well be the only boon of the Spanish conquistadores.
She was voluptuous in her white dress but who am I, a low life in the realm of intellectual primacy of the Great University of the Philippines to hold her hand, to embrace her and to touch her as if she were mine. I remember not the events in the photographs which lead me to the conclusion that this was the work of art of a master of a great photo studio. But in retrospect, how I wish the events had happened because by and large, I had fallen in love with a beautiful stranger.
“Do you like my daughter?” said a big booming voice which had shaken my reverie, my daydreaming and my heaven.
Dead silence.
“I asked you a question. Do you like my daughter?”
A thick fist hit me square on the jaw. I could not fight back. My only concern now was to breathe.
“For the last time, do you like my daughter?”
I choked on my reply, “Even if I loved her, she would never even consider liking me. We are two fucking worlds apart.”
“Very well then. Shoot him.”
“NOOOOOOOOO!”
I struggled and struggled knowing that this was no longer a winnable skirmish. I summoned every emotion I had and in one supreme effort I tore apart the handcuffs binding me. I tore away the thick ropes and then I had the one thing I had wanted at that time – air.
I ran towards the exit but at the same time I heard the loud rapports of a gun fired. The air had turned acrid. I felt two hot bullets pierce my back and sear through my chest. I stumbled and slumped on the cold concrete and soon there was a big pool of red surrounded me.
In my dying breath I saw her cross the threshold of the door. She was in a white knee – length dress and her silken hair hung loosely over her shoulders. She was bathed in white light. Her mere presence had given life to my captivity. I knew I could live long enough to see her.
Ironically, I remembered the sad fact that she’d never love me too. The world that had just turned into life became once again a black emptiness that consumed me.
Tit. Tit. Tit. Tit. Tit.
It was 6:30 am. I have to get up now and prepare my niece for school.

SGGS Special Report: Pedestrian Lanes

2006-02-12T21:29:00.003+08:00

City of San Fernando, Pampanga - the Traffic Management Group of the City of San Fernando, Pampanga has committed something beyond human comprehension. A span of a hundred yards of thick concrete barricade now separates the North bound lanes and the South bound lanes of the intersection/flyover. There used to be a pedestrian lane, 25 yards from just beneath the flyover. Now it is covered in continuity with the heavy concrete barricade. Pedestrians have to walk a hundred yards just to get across the street.

So Dr. Sioco, with all due respect, I firmly uphold that this metaphysics.

To the TMG-CSFP, you should get your nice orange uniforms and shove your nice cute philandering asses to UPm and start teaching us some metaphysics of your sorts.

Prose to Cheer My Heart

2006-02-12T21:29:00.002+08:00

Tell me your side of the story.

The Best Pick Up Lines

2006-02-12T21:29:00.001+08:00

Here are the best pick up lines.

Hey chick! Nice teeth! Wanna dance?
Are you a doctor? Because i need CPR!
How long have i been dead? Am i in heaven, Angel?
Haven't i seen you before? (pag pangit, sabihin mo sa horror! pag maganda, sabihin mo sa noveleta!)
Pulis ka ba? Because you have taken my breath away?
Are you a cop? Because you are definitely, Manila's finest!
Hey, i'm from FHM. Can i see your teeths?

ins and outs

2006-02-12T21:29:00.000+08:00

More ins and outs. The comings and goings of the latest. the brightest.

january is out. february is in.
dr. marquez is out. miss love ocampo is in.
first long exams are out. second long exams are in.
wittgenstein is out. immanuel kant is in.
language games are out. ethics and morality is in.
sleazy titles of movies like, talong and patikim ng pinya are out. old love song titles are in.
mayonnaise is out. aklas is in.
happy new year is out. happy valentimes day is in.
putang inang sit-ups with ducay is out. foundation series is in.
debuts are out. cash gifts are in.
old school reports are out. stupid films are in.
pole dances are out. cc dancing behind sleazy curtains is in.
color coordination is out. same white shirts are in.
long hair is out. kalbo is in.
jaoao rip offs are out. attacked by jaoao is in.
live 2005 is out. live 2006 is in.
surprise quizzes with the plastic hand cuffed man is out. daily quizzes with miss ocampo is in.
dusty blogs are out. announced via email updates are in.
capture of faeldon is out. capture of rizal is in.
oh i hate you is out. am not talking is in.
sky-fi is out. old school filipino lit is in.
gifts are out. puzzles are in.
toxic days are out. summer is in.

Probability

2006-01-28T19:34:00.002+08:00

What is the probability of me dialing a random cellphone number and it shall ring?

Last night, out of boredom, my borther and i dialed 7 random cellphone numbers. One of them rang. Now what is the probablity?

Try solving it for me.

Reminders:

I cannot determine where the numbers which are turned off, out of coverage area and those which are partially active like dual-sims per se, fall.
0927 and 0906 are both under Globe.
0925 is Sun Cellular.
Inquirer points out that according to DOTC, there are 34 million messages sent between Smart and Globe with each subscriber averaging 10 messages a day.

Test of the Best

2006-01-28T19:34:00.001+08:00

Here is a test of the best of the nineties! Credit is due to the Inquirer for sparking up ideas for this test. (Sir, is this plagiarism? Can they sew me?)

Take the trip down memory lane and take the test of the best.

What is written on the back of Bazooka bubble gum wrappers?
Mighty Mouse was a famous cartoon. It also had candy. Name atleast one flavor.
From what planet did the Biker Mice come from?
Name the four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Name the title of the song by Sharon Cuneta which was also the title of the movie she starred with Robin Padilla.
What was the flavor of the Texas Bubble Gum?
In what flavors was Fanta available. Name two.
Mr. Bogus is blue. True or false?
In Captain Planet, what is the name of the last segment of the show - reminding us to take care of the planet?
In the same show, Kwame is from Africa or South America?
What does "F" in Flames stand for?
Our blackboards had lines. Name the colors of the lines.
Name two members of Tropang Trumpo, now in Bubble Gang.
What brand of appliances did Nova Villa endorse?
Name the nail polish whose commercials on channel five are complete with a nasty jingle and sexy ladies.
What does Nano Nano Candy taste like?
Before the Turbo Rangers, there was Masked Man. Which channel had this show?
What is the color of Annie's panties in Shaider?
Which robot had the most members from which would assemble the space robot?
Who sang Laklak?
Before Sega and Nintendo came out, what was the hottest game console?
What/who is Captain Sid?
Name the partner of Alladin. (Wrong spelling is wrong!)
Slam Dunk first appeared on what Phillipine tv station?
What was the hit brand of rubber shoes for kids?
What is birch tree?
True of false. Richard and Raymond Gutierrez starred in a milk commercial.
Name one children oriented show. Ang TV does not count.
Name the two love teams from the original cast of Gimik.
Name the rival of the show mentioned in number 29. Full spelling please.
Name the show starred by nice cute animals with symbols on the their anterior parts.
Name the pre-historic super hero with a club.
Name the color of Penelope Pitstop's car.
What is the color of the rims of the wheels of the classic 90's aluminum stroller?
Name two bible-oriented cartoons in the 90's. Hint: A red robot was always with them.
Name the loudest character to cry in Mojacko.
Sharon Tonight was hosted by Sharon and who?
Name the show on channel 2 hosted by a former cast member of Eat Bulaga. It was aired during Saturday afternoons.
Name the longest running telenovela in the 90's. It took them 7-9 years to finish.
Name the show hosted by Inday Badiday which accomodated lost/missing persons.
Name the news/public service program hosted by a present anchor of TV Patrol. It was aired on mondays to fridays at 5:30 pm.
Name atleast two former hosts of TV Patrol. Ernie Baron is not included.
Name the Ernie Baron's segment in TV Patrol which later came to be Knowledge Is Power on radio and TV.
What the predecessor of Flames, the show on channel two?
Name the game show hosted by Arnel Ignacio on channel 7.
What is the brand of the whiskey commercial featuring Glydell on horseback?
Name atleast two telecommunications companies.
What was the greatest Filipino virus of the 90's?
Who was the coach of the Chicago Bulls when they won the championship in 1998?
What was the jersey number Michael Jordan wore when he came back in 1995?

Alam mo kung sino ka...

2006-01-28T19:34:00.000+08:00

Marami na rin ang mga pag-babago.
Di maiiwasan pagkat tayo ay tao lamang.
Mapapatawad mo ba ako?
Kung hindi ko sinunod ang gusto mo...

The Prophecy of the Great Kirkpatricknongnonger

2005-12-31T03:04:00.000+08:00

Kirkpatricknongnonger is the name given to a certain ill-mannered bard who smelled bad,
lurking the 2CR-Shower Room. It was later on changed to
Kong Kirkdagabagabuh'gabuh'gabababaganoOOoongnongerski.

Many years ago, this prophecy was so spoken

From the hams of loins, girth
Shall rise from a laborious birth
A child who shall rule over
Throngs upon throngs of many a follower.

He shall rise above his peers
And best and champion all his fears.
He shall rule with justice and fairness
Like the decorated general, ruleth with earnest.

He shall do wonders for all
And the Greater shall curse him for their downfall.
He shall bear for one and all, redemption
And for the wicked, their final damanation.

His wit shall be sharp and swift like his mother
But shall take his heart from his father.
He shall walk a high chosen destiny
And to the highest heavens, he shall fly.

Like a Lion, he stands proud and true,
Floweth through his veins is blood of blue.
He shall rule from the earth, a great ambivalent man.
All hail Lord Aslan, ruler of the Mangalus Clan.

Such is the name of the first born son of Geronimo, Son of Geronimo, Son of Narciso,
the brother of Juan, the father of Luis who conquered and ruled the mountains of Arayat.

Mga Tanong na Di Ko Masagot

2005-12-31T02:29:00.000+08:00

Hindi ko hahayaan matapos ang taon ng hindi ako nagtatanong ng mga bagay-bagay na hindi ko masagot. Heto ang mga latest at ang hindi. Posibleng natanong ko na, at kung may sagot kayo, please lang paki-sagot... nakakabaliw na!

Minsan pinabili ako ni Mama ng ground beef, at nagtaka ako na wala naman itong kasamang lupa. Hindi rin ako nakokoryente habang hawak ko ito. Di kaya mali ung nabili ko?
May nakita akong sign sa jeep, "No Smoking." Ano ang ibig sabihin nito? Bawal ang umusok ka sa jeep? Paano kung kumakain ka ng siling labuyo at umsok ang tenga mo, pabababain ka ba ng driver? Paano kung nasunog ang pwit mo? Bawala ba iyon?
Ano ang tunay na pangalan nina Ate-Kuya Waiting Shed?
Narinig ko ung kanta na Kamikaze, ung Chinelas. Sino nga ba ang nag-nakaw ng tsinelas niya? Hindi kaya si Mang Kulas?
Sa Pugad Baboy ba nangingitlog ang mga baboy?
Bakit may Yahoo! Groups? Sigurado bang masaya sila pag-gumagawa ng ganito ang mga prof? Hindi kaya prof lang ang masaya dahil mato-torture nila ung mga estudyante?
Sa kantang Leader of the Band, ung tinutukoy nila ay leader ng anong band? Rubber Band? Coupon Bond o ung Boss ni James Bond?
Ju, sa Seattle ba maraming space shuttles o uso lang ang badminton kaya madaming shuttlecock?
Ang shuttlecock ba ay maaring ilaban sa cockfighting?
Ang cockfighting ba ay gawain ng mga bakla? Hindi ba ito kadiri?
Kapag ikaw ay nagsi-sigarilyo, ibig sabihin ba nito ay ikaw ay tunay na SIGA?
Kung ikaw ay iskolar ng bayan, required ka bang pumasok sa school ng collared ang damit?
Ano ang blue-collar job? Ito ba ang trabaho ng mga tao sa patahian ng mga kwelyo?
Kapag ikaw ay nabigyan ng diploma, automatic ba na ikaw ay pwede ng maging diplomat?
Ang shop na Diplomat ay tindahan ba ng mga diploma? Bakit school supplies halos ang benta nila?
Napanood ko ung isang movie ng Star-Wars. Bakit wala akong nakitang nagsu-suntukan na stars? Ang star ba dito ay nangagahulugan na sikat na artista? Paano natin sila makikilala kung palagi lang silang naka-maskara?
Matalino ang naka-imbento ng paluwagan! Hindi ba iyon euphemism ng pag-nanakaw ng sweldo ng may sweldo?
Bakit hindi pwedeng mag-dala ng kaibigan sa Philo 1?
Bagay ko ba ang maging pari?
Bakit sina-sabihan natin ang isang taong galit na "mainit ang ulo?" Di kaya ay may lagnat lang siya?
Mahal ba talaga ni Husteen si Betch?
Kinakain ba natin ang balot (ung itlog) na may balot o "skin" pa? Hindi ba dapat tawagin na lang itong balat kasi binabalatan naman natin?
Bakit namumula si Gian pag-hinahawakan ang tenga niya? At bakit mas lalo pag ung normal na tenga?
Bakit tayo nag-diriwang ng New Year? Hindi kaya tayo na-uuto nung nag-pauso ng New Year? Eh, paano kung sabihin kong nag-sisimula ang New Year ko sa aking kaarawan? Itakwil kaya ako ng nanay ko kung magpaputok ako sa March 12?
Masaya ba talaga si Mrs. Bautista nung ipinanganak niya si Lualhati Bautista? Saan daw mag-apply si Tita Mher kung gusto niyang ipapalit ang pangalan ko ng Malassabuhaykoangbatangito?
Naka-gel ba ang buhok ni Dora? Bakit hindi ito naalis sa porma?
Sa palabas na Fruits Basket, wala naman akong nakitang tindera nga mga basket ng prutas? Niloloko ba nila tayo? Hindi kaya ang target market nila ang ung mga nagha-handa ng New Year?
Sa kantang 12 Days of Christmas, 12 ba talaga? Eh, paano na ung kasabihang, "hindi araw-araw ay pasko?" Monthly na lang ba ang Pasko?
Ano ang ibig sabihin ng "jusing?"
Bakit ang ash-tray namin sa bahay ay bilog? Hind ba dapat square? Naloko ba bumili nito?
Pag-gumamit ka ng lighter, gumagaan ba ang pakiramdam mo?
Paano kung ipag-tapat sa atin ng mundo na si Ducay ang ika-anim na Mokage? Dapat ba tayong maniwala?
Sumisinghot ba ng rugby ang mga taong "High Blood?" Hindi kaya nasa lahi nila ang maging drug-addict?
Pahabol lang, ang cockfighting ba ay maari nating i-equate sa fencing?
Unggoy ba talaga si Annabelle sa larong Monkey-Monkey-Annabelle?
Naniniwala ka bang ang mga bata ngayon ay nagiging bayolente dahil sa laro nila? Paano na lang pag-kinakanta nila ang "Langit-lupa-impyerno...saksak puso! Tulo and dugo! Patay-Buhay. A-Lis-Ka-Na-Di-Yan!"
Pag pinag-load ka ng ka-text mo, pinahihirapan ka ba niya?
Ano ang dapat gawin pag "Haaaaaaaay! May nagtext kay CC!?"
Ano ang dapat gawin sa ka-text mo pag nireplyan ka na lang niya ng "aNg tgL nMn U mgrply,.. iNiP n Me e,..U" Ano ang dapat mong i-reply?

Ayan lang po mga kaibigan, kabarkada, kababata, kapatid, kabiruan, kasama, kainuman at kabalitaktakan. Maligayang Pasko at maliligo ako sa bagong taon. Pangako un.

My Food Intake

2005-12-26T12:33:00.004+08:00

this is what i have been eating within the last 48 hours. i know lizette is going to kill me.

8 kilos of rice, fried and steamed.
2.5 kilos of chicken lean mean only, fried, roasted
500 grams of fried chicken skin
6 2" slices of t-bone steaks
14 .5" slices of generic sweet ham
100 grams pure crab fat
2 kilos of spaghetti in white and red-orange sauce
26 sticks of jumbo hotdog
24 sticks of pork barbecue
2 sticks of isaw (malakas ang collective morality ko)
1 gallon chocolate ice cream
3 packs of oreos, doublestuf
2 large cans of condensed milk to go with the oreos
13 medium-sized fuji apples
500 grams of green grapes
2 packs of malboro red (blue-seal)
4 packs of malboro red (local)
6 bottles of redhorse beer
4 cans of strong ice beer
1/2 bottle of gran matador
and 4 liters of coke to wash it down with.

ins and outs

2005-12-26T12:33:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas is out, Happy New Year is in.

Noche Buena is out, Media Noche is in.

Countdown before Christmas break is out,
Puta-papasok-tayo-right-after-New-Year’s-Day is in.

Flores is out, Puta-mare-panaloOoOo-si-Ducay is in.

The _-=Gold_Finger=-_ is out,
the _-=Gold_Finger=-_ and Red Plastic Cuffs Man is in.

Prom is out, Debut is in.

2005 is out, 2006 is in.

Davide is out, Puno is in.

Ramota sa room is out, Ramota sa mob is in.

Doc Maboo is out, Balino sisters are in.

Writing plays is out, Film making is in.

Flavio is out, Tristan is in.

Encantadia is out, Etheria is in.

Pinag-palit ng magulang noong bata sila at ngayon ay matanda na’t naghihigante is out,
Iligtas si Cassandra is out.

BF ni Ate Carmen is out, Ex-hubby ni Ate Carmen is in.

Orange and Lemons is out, Orange and Melons is in.

Baby rockets and kwitis is out, kanyon is in.

After-Manualia-heart-to-heart-talks-sa-likod-ng-cabinet is out, Y!M is in.

Mag-tago-kay-Bareliboi-kasi-long-hair is out, Inggitin-si-Frely-dahil-long-hair is in.

Natamad-na-akong-pumasok is out, I’ll-wake-up-early-because-i-miss-mikee is in.

Density is out, Dating with Husteen is in.

Plain-white-shirts is out, Abangan-ang-baol-collection is in.

Php 1350 is out, Php 900 is in.

Battle-Realms is out, DotA is in.

Tito-Nong is out, Big-Brother is in.

HP4 and Oliveros is out, Narnia is in.

Ms. U is out, Mikee is in.

Girls-are-stupid is out, Huwag-mag-dala-ng-kaibigan-sa-Philo is in.

Durkheim is out, Plato is in.

Inter-High is out, UAAP is in.

Stretch-kick is out, Lintik-na-45 is in.

Risha is out, Mica is in.

Suko is out, Heaven-Knows is in.

Field-trips are out, Crystals-sleepovers are in.

Na-confine-si-Betch is out, Papa-lipo-si-Querijero is in.

NBS is out, PowerBooks is in.

Puzo is out muna, Lualhati-Bautista is in!

Mafia is out, Sci-Fi is in!

Lovebirds are out, Hamsters are in.

Bogart is out, Hector is in.

Ice-Age is out, Ice-Age-2 is in.

Math 1 is out, Math 11 is in.

Capilan Ca Muli?

2005-12-10T22:18:00.000+08:00

P. Diddy
I'll Be Missing You Lyrics
Verse One:

Puff Daddy

(Yeah... this right hear... goes out to everyone who has lost someone they truly love)

Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show

I laced the track, you locked the flow

So far from hangin on the block for dough

Notorious, they got to know that

Life ain't always what it seem to be (uh-uh)

Words can't express what you mean to me

Even though you're gone, we still a team

Through your family, I'll fulfill your dream (that's right)In the future, can't wait to see

If you open up the gates for me

Reminisce some time, the night they took my friend (uh-huh)

Try to black it out, but it plays again

When it's real, feelings hard to conceal

Can't imagine all the pain I feel

Give anything to hear half your breath (half your breath)

I know you still living your life, after death

Chorus:

Faith Evans

Every step I take, every move I make

Every single day, every time I pray

I'll be missing you

Thinkin of the day, when you went away

What a life to take, what a bond to break

I'll be missing you[Puff]

I miss you Big

Verse Two:

Puff Daddy

It's kinda hard with you not around (yeah)

Know you in heaven smilin down (eheh)

Watchin us while we pray for you

Every day we pray for you

Til the day we meet again

In my heart is where I'll keep you friend

Memories give me the strength I need (uh-huh) to proceed

Strength I need to believe

My thoughts Big I just can't define (can't define)

Wish I could turn back the hands of time

Us in the 6, shop for new clothes and kicks

You and me taking flicks

Makin hits, stages they receive you on

I still can't believe you're gone (can't believe you're gone)

Give anything to hear half your breath (half your breath)

I know you still living you're life, after death

Chorus:

Every step I take, every move I make

Every single day, every time I prayI'll be missing you

Thinkin of the day, when you went away

What a life to take, what a bond to break

I'll be missing you

[Faith Evans]

Somebody tell me why

Interlude:

Faith Evans

One Black Morning

When this life is overI knowI'll see your face

Outro:

112

Every night I pray, every step I take

Every move I make, every single day

Every night I pray, every step I take

[Puff]

Every day that passes

Every move I make, every single day

[Puff]

Is a day that I get closer

[Puff]

To seeing you again

Every night I pray, every step I take

[Puff]

We miss you Big... and we won't stop

Every move I make, every single day

[Puff]

Cause we can't stop... that's right

Every night I pray, every step I take

Every move I make, every single day

[Puff]

We miss you Big

Faith Evans:

Every step I take, every move I make

Every single day, every time I pray

I'll be missing you

Thinkin of the day, when you went away

What a life to take, what a bond to break

I'll be missing you

Every step I take, every move I make

Every single day, every time I pray

I'll be missing you

Thinkin of the day, when you went away

What a life to take, what a bond to breakI'll be missing you

Every step I take, every move I make

Every single day, every time I prayI'll be missing you

Thinkin of the day, when you went away

What a life to take, what a bond to break

I'll be missing you

She

2005-12-10T22:05:00.000+08:00

She is the single most important force in my life.

i have always loved and respected her. i wanted to be like her in all things for she and i are one.

it was in 2001 that i got wind that she left me. little did i know that in 1996, she had already
forgotten our platonic relationship.

all i know is that she is dead now. dead in my eyes.

in case you get around reading this, i'd like you to know that i love you so much. i shall never forget you. but for now, you are dead in.

dead in my eyes.

"she was everything, everything that i wanted.
we were meant to be supposed to be but we lost it."

I WON'TAG!

2005-12-07T11:34:00.000+08:00

Tag! You're it!
I've been tagged by Lizette.

"List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to."

Here's my list:

For Those About to Rock-AC DC

Don't Go Breaking My Heart-Elton John

Tribute to the Best Song in the World-Jack Black

Ing Taung Damalas-Totoy Bato

I Will Sing Forever-Bukas Palad Music Ministry

Bakit Part 2 (acoustic)-MayonnaiseAnak-Side A

And to put an end to this vicious cycle of love and hate, i shall not tag anyone.

i believe

2005-11-24T23:33:00.000+08:00

I believe that that life is short and I must make the most of it and in the process, I am only answerable only to myself. I believe that I must live each day as if it were my last. I believe that I must make the most of every moment. I give my best with everything I do, keeping in mind that life is beautiful and I must make the most of it whilst I am alive.
I laugh like no one hears me. I sing like no one is listening. I dance like no one is watching. I write like it is my last article. I dream like I’ll live forever. I love with nothing more than a glance to the possibility that my heart may be broken in the process. I am answerable to no one except myself. I do not need to know what others think of me. I do not care what other people think of me. I do not care if my activities elicit sneers from other. After all, I do not need to answer anything to anyone but myself. I do not need to prove anything to anyone but myself.
The ultimate reason behind this belief is this. I refuse to be boxed up by society. I refuse to be limited by what society deems right and wrong. I refuse to adhere to the impositions of limitations done by society on it members. I do not believe I must follow their rules. I believe that perhaps they were like me in the beginning but society and today’s culture boxed them up. And they became cynics instead.

Limang Minuto ng Katotohanan

2005-11-24T23:26:00.000+08:00

Magtanong ka ng kahit ano at sasagutin ko sa abot ng aking makakaya. Magiging totoo ako at walang kompromiso. Kung ikaw ay magtatanong, kailangan mong ilagay ito sa iyong bloga. Handa ka na ba?

Putang ina mo! Eto Querijero. Sagutin mo!

if you spent the same amount of time with Jared and Justin, whom would you choose as the boyfriend apparent? Why? And if he gained 300 pounds, would you still love him?
kung mamatay ka na sa loob ng bente-kwatro oras at pipili ka ng limang taong iyong susulatan, sinu-sino at ano ang sasabihin mo?
bagay ko ba ang maging pari?
kung ibebenta mo ang iyong biyolohikang ama, ano o magkano ang presyo? (i.e. nung ako ay nasa unang taon ng mataas na paaralan, ako ay ipinagpalit sa isang basang garbage bag at kalahating lata ng liver spread ng AKING kuya.)
nasaan ang appeal ko o ang aking moho (mojo) kung tawagin? at bakit?

Remember This

2005-11-20T22:08:00.000+08:00

i have a friend. she means more than a friend to me. she/he is like a brother to me. i enjoy her company. i can get away with yelling, PUTANG INA MO! right on her face. and i'd be happy. she taught me the intricate art of pag-iinarte. she means more to me but i don't know why i hurt her. but i promise i won't anymore.

before you get mad at me, remember this.

these are not the things i hold against you. these are the things i will remember you for the rest of my days.

remember this.

i saved your ass from a cat but you beat me up instead.
i was the first being to discover your fhm ass.
i was the great reconciler of the mid-term exams.
i saved your ass in silang cavite.
i taught you how to punch.
you taught me about commitment.
you are the trashcan of all the under-ratedness.
when we got lost in silang, i called you up.
i regret that you are the fruit of my belly-button.
i think you are beautiful.
you shall get me a lighter for christmas.
you hold my battle realms, hostage for your sophie's.
you tell your dad i am a perv.
i am not a perv.
i do not look at legs, i look at skirts.
i took you home one night.
i slept over your place, a blatant lapse of judgment.
i could've gotten killed that night.
i wore a pair of meter wide boxer shorts.
only to find out that it fits me snugly.
you sold me off to your mom.
you sold me off to your mom on risha.
you are your mom's crony.
and mishee isn't as assertive as you are in our marital issues.
i inherited cramming from you.
i am a better drawer than you are.
who defends you from the wrath of the kgb?
of course, it's your mom!
i bring your file case.
i helped you buy socks on the great deluge.
i did not laugh at your taho-sized iced tea.
i am afraid of your daddy.
i give you parokya ni edgar songs.
we have our porn flick/UPM scandal.
i taught you the value of guessing song titles.
and that it is often the first line of the song.
or the oft repeated line in the song.
i appreciate the value of noodles.
and noodle stars too.
who taught you to cross the street?

i am running out of green ink. but remember this.

you mean a lot to me. i accept my faults. and in restitution, i shall give you candy corner gunk on monday.

i know and i believe, my daughter loves me. i always want to be like my daughter. she's everything to me.

Mga Tanong na 'Di Ko Masagot Sa Pelikulang Noypi

2005-11-18T23:42:00.000+08:00

Mga Tanong na ‘Di Ko Masagot sa mga Pelikulang Pilipino
· Pag ikaw ay naka-jacket na itim sa kainitan ng tag-araw, bakit automatic na ikaw ay goon? Ganun ba ang cool?
· Bakit palaging ang power structure ng mga kalaban ay ang “ninong” at ang kanyang mga bata? Bakit laging may sidekick na binabatuk-batukan?
· Bakit pag final fight scene na, ang tagal mag-kwentuhan ng bida at ng kontrabida bago sila mag barilan? Bakit ‘di na lang sila mag-usap muna?
· Bakit hindi nauubusan ng bala ang handgun ni FPJ?
· Bakit malakas ang leading lady? At sa payat niyang iyon, ay kayang-kaya niyang makawala sa dalawang bakulaw ng humahawak sa kanya?
· Mura lang ba ang bili ng mga bida sa baril? Bakit kung maubusan sila ng bala ay tinatapon na lang ang mga armalite?
· Bakit hindi tinatablan ng bala ang bida kahit lumulusot na ang mga bala ng kalaban sa plywood na tinataguan niya? Hindi kaya balingbing ang mga goons at hindi talaga pinatatamaan ang kalaban?
· Bakit laging mestisa ang leading lady? At bakit laging may bed scene sila ng bida pero bigla na lang magbblack-out pag malapit na silang mag-halikan? May gagawin ba silang masama sa dilim?
· Bakit palaging may ginagayang moves o lines sa mga foreign films ang mga usong comedy ngayon? Wala na ba silang maisip na iba? (Punta na kayo sa blog ko!)
· Kung mauubusan man ng bala ang bida, hahagisan siya ng leading lady. Paano ito nasasalo ng bida gayung may ilang tama na siya sa paa?
· Bakit laging naka-jacket ang mga bida? Pinaninindigan ba nila ang pagiging cool nila?
· Bakit laging ginagahasa ng kalaban ang kapatid/syota ng bida? Bakit di ung mga nadaan na lang sa kalye?
· Pag-sasabog ang isang building, laging nakakatalon ang bida gayong sugatan na siya? At paano niya nabubuhat ang leading lady gayung duguan na siya?
· Bakit ang hide-out ng kalaban ay isang warehouse o lumang bodega? Wala ba silang bahay?

Humanity, UP and 1-2-3

2005-11-18T23:38:00.000+08:00

Humanity, UP and 1-2-3

The University of the Philippines is the ultimate reminder of the humanity of all who dwell therein. We are once again reminded that we too are mere mortals.

Back in high school, we were super heroes. We were super stars. We had gargantuan intellectual achievements. We could write essays, so hot and ingenious that merely looking at the name Jan Robert Go, would automatically merit an A+ with or without close inspection. The thickest Math problems were chicken shit for the likes of Elizabeth Ann Querijero, who was a Queen in Her Universe or Theresa Rivera.

If in high school, we were Super Humans, and then UP must be planet Kryptonite.

In UP, we have lost our powers. We are once again mere mortals. Chemistry problems are hell here. Math with Dr. Magboo may be fun but it is hell if you are unwary. I used to do well in World History but with the _-=Gold_Finger=-_ I was stupid. And everyday is RSPC for all of us.

But I have no fear. I am optimistic in UP. I know that I don’t know.

As I see it, this is how the University of the Philippines teaches its protégées. First, UP will make you realize you do not know anything. UP will make you realize you are nothing. UP will strip you off your super powers. UP will strip you down to bare wood. You must bow down in humility in front of the statue of Oblation. You must believe that you are at the mercy of the great University of the Philippines and that you must obey. You must resign yourself to your fate. You must accept that you don not know and that only UP will show you everything you need to know.
Once you let go of everything, once you have stripped yourself of the entire unnecessary burden, once you have accepted the inevitable reality, once your level of conditioning has reached the required level of patience, of desire, of perseverance and of love, you are now ready to learn.
The great University of the Philippines will now show you anything and everything you need to know. UP shall teach you, 1-2-3. 1-2-3. 1-2-3. Then you must repeat it. 1-2-3. 1-2-3. 1-2-3. Then, UP shall teach you 1-2-3. 1-2-3. Then you repeat it. 1-2-3. 1-2-3. UP shall teach you this over and over and over and over and over again, until you will feel that you were born that way.

Fear not. The great University of the Philippines will never let you down. 1-2-3. 1-2-3.

Valuing Education

2005-11-18T23:37:00.000+08:00

Valuing Education

El Deliquente
In my first year in high school, I was the epitome of the unconventional “juvenile delinquent.” I have my teachers raving about how “media influences kids today” and how “kids nowadays have crazy ideas and next thing we know, they are plotting on world hegemony.”

I was the unconventional radical stuck in the wrong place and the wrong time. I had been born a progressive and nationalism flowed through my veins. In my mild speeches and in my writing, I was misunderstood. The school administration blatantly branded me a communist and a heretic. They had charged me with acts of rebellion, sedition, refusal to accept authority and insubordination on several accounts. As my punishment, I was placed under probation for my entire second year in high school.

But my parents thought otherwise.

My Punishment
One hot summer night, my parents talked to me in our nice little living room. They were to send me to my father’s dear friend in San Ildefonso, Bulacan for a little vacation. And for this vacation I was to spend the time thinking. Hence, they had to take away my mobile phone and my portable compact disc player. They had mentioned in passing that I would not need these items to where I was going.

I was coerced into this nice vacation. And I never thought I’d see the day when my parents whom I admired and respected so much would coerce me into something so evil… so ingenious yet so horrible.

The drive to Bulacan was the longest three hours of my life. Bye-bye rock music. Bye-bye text mates. Bye-bye world.

They put me in the care of Mang Tony, an old farmer who lived with his wife, Aling Aida. He owned a sizable tract of land. Half of which had been planted honeydew melons. The other half was of rice which was nearing the harvest season.

They had put me in the care of Mang Tony for a month or so, until I have sufficiently learned my lesson on the value of education.

With just a few shorts and shirts, and all the comforts of the civilized corrupted society gone, I had swallowed, and I had swallowed hard. I had conceded to my fate-my apparent incarceration and all the rights and privileges thereto appertaining.

Life in the Farm
I slept on a buri mat on the cold hard bamboo floor. I had to make do with a tattered rag for a blanket against the early morning cold and a folded Zest-O carton as a fan on the hot humid summer nights. My pillow was of the old school home-grown cotton.

I would wake up at 4 am. Imagine the horror! The indignity! The indemnity! It was freaking’ summer vacation and here I was, to wake up early to do farm work. And there was Mang Tony with his trusty arnis to prod me awake and to hit me when I was slow and at times to call my attention.

I would brush my teeth and then make myself strong black coffee with old school brown unrefined sugar. Then, I would take the baldes, big pails made of recycled oil containers with heavy wood handles and the pingga, or the piece of bamboo with ropes, much like the ones used by taho vendors. I would fetch water for the consumption of the household until early morning. Mang Tony would always remind me with, “Aba eh! Naliligo din kami! Kaya mag-iigib ka!” The artesian well was quite a long way from the house. It is roughly the distance you walk from SSWC to GAB 303. Imagine having to take several trips because you had to fill up the Great Drum!

Since I was damn inexperienced, the water I had dutifully half-asleep-ly pumped from the artesian well kept spilling such that it was half-filled when I entered the house. Hence, I presented two seemingly logical solutions; first, I would only half-fill the baldes. And second, I would walk slowly. Gradually, my water-fetching abilities improved. Mang Tony took great pride with this such that he made me fill the great earthen jars where we cooled our drinking water too. This chore took me until 5:15-5:20am.

The next involved me milking Daisy. Daisy was the big dark carabao Mang Tony owned. Her milk was manufactured into kesong puti which I enjoyed a lot. When after milking Daisy, I’d be too tired and too hungry and whenever Mang Tony was away, I drank Daisy’s milk straight from the balde. When Mang Tony noticed the decrease in Daisy’s productivity, she was blamed. But further investigation confirmed Mang Tony’s second hypothesis. For the record, I never drank straight from Daisy’s warm soft teats contrary to Mang Tony’s allegations during my evaluation.

Upon returning to the house and submitting the milk in the batalan for inspection purposes, roughly 600 meters from Daisy’s grazing site, I would then gather the eggs from the chickens and the ducks. Then, I would feed them before cleaning the coops. These eggs constituted a large part of my high fat, high salt diet in my sojourn in Bulacan.
Then I would feed the rest of the animals in the farm. I would clean the pigs’ pens. Never mind the smell, just imagine them piglets running after you and eating your feet!
At 6:30-7:00am, I would was up a bit and get ready for breakfast. The common fare was for chicken or duck eggs sunny side up and pan de sal or rice and some canned goods. And of course, the strong black coffee heavily doused with muscovado.
From then on until lunch time, I would perform whatever tasks there was. Sometimes, I had to water the honeydew melons using the baldes and the pingga. Sometimes, I would weed the honeydew melons and gather the poisonous plants and dispose of them accordingly. (There was on old man named Tata Iro who made fun of my work and blew away the remaining 75 centavos of my ego. I sought vengeance by feeding the poisonous weeds to his carabaos which ate them greedily! Bwahahahaha!) And nearing the rice harvest season, I would gather and cut the stalks. This was a very tedious and dangerous task. The blade was long and I was not very adept at using it. There was also the pressure of moving faster as the others with whom I was working side by side were moving so much faster. And we had to work in time with the music. When we finished the cutting and gathering of the rice stalks, my hands were bleeding profusely.
The threshing part was a bit more relaxed. Since the more experienced men were using the threshing machine, I for my part, worked with my hands. I would gather a sizable sheaf and beat it against the ground. Although it was less dangerous, it was enough to make me almost faint in fatigue and anger.
Sun-drying the rice grains was easy. I just had to keep mixing them every half hour or so. It was easy. The hard part was chasing off chickens in the heat of the midday summer. I was coerced to transform a 4meters x 8meters area covered with 3-inch thick rice grains into an impregnable fortress. I had to defend it from hungry chickens. Picture this, the weather is hot as hot could get. You are tall and lanky. You are walking barefoot on sharp itchy rice. You are equipped with a wooden rake/shovel and a muddy white shirt and working jeans.
A group of five chickens attack from the north. This is rapidly succeeded by a very mobile elite unite of big cocks from the southwest. You realize that as your hands are already full just fending off the concurrent invasion, this is a mere diversion because the rank and file of the invaders are approaching in 180 seconds. You then summon reinforcements. The best available is a very old man who can reach top speeds of 10 meters per minute.
I can proudly say I was successful because they weren’t able to carry off all the rice!
And for the record, I killed two chickens, one with a rock, and the other with standard issue equipment whose bodies I had disposed of quietly.
In the lazy summer afternoons, I was sometimes given the liberty of taking my siesta in the hammock between the mango trees. Otherwise, my task was to chop firewood and fetch more water after washing the dishes. And before night fell, I would also take the dried clothes from the clothesline to the house.
Then I would comfortably bathe myself in the artesian well in the darkness of the sweltering summer nights of my apparent incarceration thinking of the time when I would be free once again.

Freedom is at Hand

It was only towards the end of my incarceration that I realized the point of my father. I realized that he did this to make me understand the brutalities of life without schooling and perhaps education as well.

My father lived this kind of life before he had entered the University. He had been hardened by the years of struggle. He had been roughened by the years of hard work before he became a self made man.

His apparent brutality and rigidity in administering justice to my case is now well appreciated. He had not wanted me to suffer as he had. And for this, I am eternally thankful.

Nearing the beginning of classes, my dad fetched me. Mang Tony sent me away with several cavans of rice and numerous honeydew melons, the fruits of our labor. Little did he know that he gave to me a gift I know, I never ever could repay.

When we got home, I knew right then, I would never ever be the same again.

Sitio Ochoa, Brgy. Tenejero, Pulilan, Bulacan
Four and a half years later, I have returned to the best classroom I have ever known. In my brief sojourn in Bulacan, I am reminded of the very essence of why I am in the University of the Philippines. I am reminded why I strive to get excellent education first, good grades second. I am reminded of why I should pore over my books each and every night. I am reminded of why I should not purposively delay my scholarly issues. I am once again reminded why I am.

In San Ildefonso, the young men I have met have stopped schooling as early as the second grade, some until the elementary education. And still a few others have reached high school. Their reasons were mostly financial incapacity. Others admitted that they stopped because their father needed an extra hand in the farm work. When asked if they had any exerted effort to pursue their education, I was shocked with their answers. They apparently claimed that they were already contented with their lives now. They were contented with just getting by. They were contented to live through the day. This was how t, their forefathers lived as the forefathers of their forefathers lived and they were determined to live this way as their sons and daughters would.

On the other hand, the people of Sitio Ochoa live in stark contrast. They value education. I give my neck for that statement. They value education. Although they are poor, they value education. Although what they earn is barely enough for their living, they value education. They do their best to send their children to school. They do anything and everything in their influence to finance their education. They accumulate large debts because of their dreams. But they are hopeful. They know that their children may not finish college and may never be big shots in time. But they know, and they know fully well, that the love for education has been instilled in their children. These children in turn, would pass on this passion to their children.

They know that it is only in this way that they can ever be free from the bitterness of hard work. They know that this is the only way for them to be really free from the usurious ways of the landed class. Together they strive.

The people of Sitio Ochoa are the modern day apostles because they are strong-willed change agents. They have kept the fire burning. And they have passed it on to their children. My father has kept the fire burning and he has passed it on to me. And in turn, I am determined to pass in on to my protégée. And in the words of AC-DC, “we roll tonight, to the guitar fight.”

A Bedtime Story

2005-11-03T23:05:00.000+08:00

many years ago, a child was born. but he was unlike any child ever born.

he was a feeble big lad who never knew the difference between a spoon and a spade.
he was in the service of a great warrior, Noah the Berserker.
and when the master died, he handed over his green elephant underwear and spongebob stickers to the young lad.

the feeble big lad was instructed to wear the green underpants and to shout

DARNA!

to instantly transform into

MASTER CC.

***************************************************

in the dungeons far far far far far far far away,

there lived a princess with nice naturally brown-super-ultra-mega-thunder-thunder-saturated-with-citre-shine hair. her hair was glittery like waxed gold.

she was held captive by the evil monkey-eating-cannibalistic dragon named Jaughn-Jaughn. she was held captive because she could cook the best egg noodle soup with noodle stars.

day in and day out, the evil dragon ate everything even the brick wall. surrounding the tower of her dungeon.

***************************************
as if though by magic, the great ambivalent master cc heard a mysterious polyphonic sound.

teet-tit. teet-tit.

and he read.

hi cc! pnta n u d2 s dngeon. wla ung drgn eh. hehe...u

***************************************
and the great master cc with his cohorts, the nice little cross-dressing page in a green halter top and a pink micro-mini shorts and green wooden flip flops aptly named betch and the mighty steed Hustine /HOOS-tayn/

and so the journey of a thousand mile must begin with a single step.

and they started walking.

and walking.

and walking.

and walking.

and walking.

and walking some more

when, they met a great magician in trouble.

******************************************
they met the great mage Don Mario Lanuzo. he had a sore thumb. they three legendary heroes helped him. in return, he gave them wings.

and even betch shouted,

AKO NGAYON AY ISA NANG GANAP NA MULAWIN!

but when it was the horse's turn, there were no more magic powder and toothpaste to make wings. so the group had to leave him to the farmer Querijero where they left Hustine to serve the rest of his days as a pack aminal with butterfly wings and sleeping with llamas.

****************************************************
like any decent epic journey, they had to stop by a shrine to obtain blessings.

they went to the shrine of the _-=Goldfinger=-_ to obtain his blessings.

there they met the warrior-monk slash SA named Rober.

he gave them some stuff to read in case they got bored along the way.

but he never told them of the bitter fate they were to endure.
***************************************************
so they went on flying instead.

the sky was getting dark... too dark to see...

but they prodded on in search of a treasure they knew they'd never find.

they were basically lost when they saw....
*************************************************
a jeepney most colorful they had ever seen in their entire lives.

and moreover, what was written on the side was hell!

SANTOLAN-BAHAY NI DRAGON-IKOT-FAIRVIEW
************************************************
reluctant as our adventurers were, they readily boarded the heaven sent jeep with the opposite scent.

but as they say, all good things must come to a end.

the minimum fare was 7.50.

and all they had was 6.75

so they thought.

and poof!

betch became a koko-krunch!

and master cc found his UP id!

*********************************************
then, they stopped over. master cc got very tired of betch/koko-krunch sitting on his lap.

they walked and saw the princess waving!
*****************
they befriended the dragon and master cc had the dragon marry betch! and the great ambivalent master cc became the slave of the Queen.

and when the princess was older, she was given leave to usurp her own kingdom of S. Invicta
along with Master CC.

and they live happily until 35.

Isang Bukas na Liham sa Ginintuang Palad

2005-10-09T10:42:00.000+08:00

to his excellency, Prof. Bernard Karganilla

ako po ay labis na nagugulumihanan. sana po ay sagutin ninyo ito.

bakit meron po kayong ganyang singsing?
bakit ang galing niyo?
ano po ang solusyon sa ating panahon?
ano po ang sekreto para umasasenso sa UP?
ano po ang maari kong gawin para makasunod sa inyong yapak?
ano po ang solusyon sa krisis sa langis?
ano po ang sekreto para malaman ang lahat ng bagay?
ano po ang pag-ibig?
bakit po kayo narito?
what is the purpose for being?

ayan po ang aking mga katanungan.

***

sa kasawiang palad, nabura o po ang aking bukas na liham sa inyo. bayaan niyo pong ulitin ko ito. maari po sana ay basahin ninyo ito.

***

i have always respected you. *worshipworship*

ok class.

get one whole sheet of paper.

write your name and student number.

poli sci kayo noh?

yes sir.

people at the back, please occupy the seats in front.

number one,

answer in essay form.

if the people's republic of china successfully invade taiwan,

and move on to the Philippines,

what will happen?

*fallsoffanddies*

putang ina naman!

ano na naman ang mangyayari?

the Philipines will be defeated and ew would have to eat pancit canton and siomai everyday. the cars will be sold. more and more jeepney drivers will become human calesas and the... the... the...

finish your last sentence.

at the slow count of 20, i want all papers in...

1...

18...

19...

20!

all papers in?

...

blockhead, i want an alphabetical seat plan next meeting.

...

yan ang ating unang pagtatagpo.

and i have never been the same.

i have just recently recovered from the trauma of latin. i have taken it twice. i have barely passed the second feable attempt. and the amazing thing was, i had survived.

you looked my latin teacher. he was quite an old man. he brutally attacked me whenever he saw me around the school. i get a good dose of his fury when i have the wrong declensions for rosa and donum. i was the class dunce. twice.

i get more elbows during basketball. i suppose this legitimized his passion for physically and mentally abusing me.

during the finals, my classmates were already speaking conversational latin.

i on the other hand, have trouble translating simple phrases like,

the cat ate the ball.

such was my experience with latin. hence, i dreaded history. i hated it. i hated going to your class. and now, months of enlightenment later, i miss sayinh

good morning ma'am sir.
welcome to 7-11!

i longed to catch a fleeting glance when you exit the room.
i longed to walk in your footsteps and wipes them with our faces
in a desperate attempt to obtain the wisdom that is yours alone.

i have always been curious of your gold rings.
and as a mere mortal, i am not worthy to say your name.
hence, with all due respect, i call you the _-=Gold_Finger=-_

so when the _-=Gold_Finger=-_ says jump,
the only question you can ask is how high...

so when the _-=Gold_Finger=-_ says cram does not pay,
go study your lessons first, breathe second.

so when the _-=Gold_Finger=-_ says pass bonuses beacause you will flunk,
pass them because you will die.

so when the _-=Gold_Finger=-_ says one of you has cheated,
the guilty and all the suspects shall be gathered
and skinned alive and rolled in bath tubs filled with boiling calamansi juice and burned alive
as holocausts and sin offerings.

the _-=Gold_Finger=-_ is infallible.
there is no more doubt.

i have been touched by your morals. your lessons. now i see clearly.

there is no reason why you should not be venerated.

you are a demi-god.

and i am but a mere mortal.

i know it is wrong on my part to attempt to communicate something like this.

this is blasphemy.

this is sheer insanity!

so in this entry,

i wish to express my sincerest respects and admiration.

in all the aforementioned, i therefore conclude that the _-=Gold_Finger=-_

knows everything.

with all due respect,

2005-35415

Di na Kailangan

2005-10-06T04:55:00.000+08:00

dude pare tol_

dude pare tol_
umaga na
dito sa bahay

... dude pare tol

di mo naman kailangang gawin lahat yan.
di mo kailangang dumugo pare.
sapat na ang pagapaparayang ginawa mo.
tama na ang luha. tama na ang pag-iyak. tama na ang drama.

puta.
puta pare.

di ba maganda ka?
ilang daang beses ko ng sinabi sa iyo?
ilang daang bese ko pa bang uulitin iyon para sa iyo?
...dude pare tol
maganda ka!

puta.
puta pare.

binigay mo naman ang lahat.
binigay mo lahat. lahat pare.
pati care bears baka ibinigay mo na rin.
pero pare di ka nagkulang.
di ka nagkulang...

puta.
puta pare.

sinabi na kasi sa iyo!

naalala mo pa ba nung tinatanong mo kung sasagutin mo na siya?

wala lang.
di na dapat ulitin ang kwentong yon.

sapat na ang luha.
sapat na ang pagpaparaya.

oras na.
oras na para maalala.
oras na para maalala na maganda ka.

wag mong sasabihing walang nagmamahal sa iyo!

para saan pa kami ng amos?
para saan pa kami ng medianos?

wag mo nang uulitin yon ha?
alam mo naman...

maraming nagmamahal sa iyo!

sa friendster

2005-10-05T16:07:00.000+08:00

putang ina ng mga nakikifriends sa akin na hindi binasa ang profile ko!

kaya eto...

long live Mu
and all its constituents.
long live the mardigras
and all who get drunk then
long live the leather shoes
and all the animals killed
lone live the pope
and all who believe
long live archie alemania
and all who are bald
long live mars ravelo
and all the characters he made
long live Nokia
and all the phones we have
long live sapsap
and all the mighty members of tachoink
long live nong nong
and all the staff of the get get show
long live MU
and all its constituents
long live he who wrote this
and all the BLESSED, SACRED and the REBELS who understand

what is common among these?
UNDERwater
UNDERstand
UNDERpass
UNDERstatement
UNDERwear

PUTA

2005-10-02T00:20:00.000+08:00

Puta
Puta ba ako?
Puta ba ako nang sabihin kong handa kong mahalin si Doriza ng walang kapalit?
Si Kuya Dex ay isa sa mga iniidolo ko mula pa noong pagka-bata. Kabarkada siya ng aking mga pinsan. Sila ang mga idolo ko sa buhay.
Tuwing Biyernes ay nag-iinuman sila sa tindahan ng isa ko pang pinsan. Dito rin sila nagjajamming kung saan si Kuya Dex ang gitarista. Hanganga-hanga ako sa kanya. Sa kanyang mabibilis na kamay, ako ay natutulala. Sa bawat nota ng kanyang gitara ako ay namumulat sa katotohanan. Sa bilis ng kanyang mga kamay ako ay nabibigahani. Bata pa ako noon, pero mulat na ako.
Minulat nila ako sa kagandahan ng Rivermaya at ng 214. Dito ko na rin nakilala ang progresibong pag-iisip ni Ely Buendia. Dito ko na rin nakilala ang hiwaga at talinhaga ng the Dawn, Rizal Underground at ng Greyhoundz. Dito ako nagising sa katotohanan.
Sa kanilang mga inuman ay aking natutunan ang mga pinaka-mahahalagang leksiyon ng Buhay. Itinuro nila sa akin na ang Buhay ay malupit. Kinikitil nito ang mga mababait, ang mga magagaling. Ang Buhay ay maiksi lamang. Pero meron tayong kalasag. Meron tayong beer. Meron tayong gitara. Meron tayong Marlboro.
Maiksi ang Buhay pero lalaban tayo. Kaya natin ito.
Uminom. Manigarilyo.
Sumigaw. Kumanta.
Mangarap. Maniwala. Manindigan.
Lingid sa kanilang kaalaman, itinuro rin nila sa akin kung ano ang Pag-ibig.
Ang pag-ibig ang pinaka-matibay na sandata ng Tao. Sa pag-ibig nakakaya nito ang lahat ng bagay. Sa pag-ibig nagagawa ng Tao ang lahat ng kailangang niyang gawin. Sa pag-ibig maaring mag-mula ang pinaka-maiigting na damdaming kayang sumira ng lahat ng hadlang sa pangarap ng Tao. Sa pag-ibig nawawala ang lahat. Sa pag-ibig nabubuo ang lahat.
Ang gitara at pag-ibig ay iisa. Ako at ikaw ay iisa.
Ang pag-ibig din pala ang wika na ‘di kailangan ng salita. Ang pag-ibig ang wika ng poot at ng pagkakaisa. At sa pag-ibig ang nilikha at ang lumikha ay napag-iisa. Ang pag-ibig ay ang lahat ng bagay na ginagawa ng iisang pwersa.
Lumipas ang maraming taon. Nagsi-pagtapos na ang aking mga pinsan. Kahit pasang-awa, graduate pa rin. Kahit na nawala ang ilan, mayroon pa ring naiwan. Nandoon pa rin ang samahan. Nawala na ang regular na inuman. Minsan-minsan na lang. Minsan-minsan pa pala.
Si Kuya Dex naman ay nakakuha ng trabaho sa Maynila bilang isang arkitekto. Hindi kagandahan ay sahod pero bakit hindi ‘di ba? Minsan sa dawalang linggo siya kung umuwi. Gayun pa man, napag-pasiyahan nila ni Doriza na ipag-patuloy nila ang kanilang relasyon kahit long distance.
Dahil lagi siyang wala, ipinagkatiwila niya sa aking ang kanayang kasintahan, si Doriza. Ako ang gumanap sa papel ni Kuya Dex bilang kasintahan.
Sinusundo ko si Doriza mula sa paaralan tuwing siya ay ginagabi. Ako ang kasama ni Doriza tuwing siya ay mamalengke at naggo-grocery. Ako rin ang kanyang kasama tuwing siya ay nag-sisimba. Nagpatuloy ito sa loob ng bakasyon. Sabi nga ng mga tao, bagay daw kami.
Lahat ng iniuutos ni Kuya Dex ay aking sinunod. Ganoon kalakas ang debosyon ko sa taong humubog ng malaking bahagi ng aking pagka-tao. Malaki ang pasalamat niya sa akin.
Ngunit di ko namalayang nahuhulog na pala ako.
Si Doriza ay matanda sa aking ng apat na taon. Halos magkasin-tangkad lang kami. Payak na payak siya kung manamit. Maganda ang hubog ng kanyang katawan na animo’y diyosa na nagkatawang tao. Hinahabol ko sa hangin ang amoy na iniiwan ng kanyang buhok na unat na unat at itim na itim. Madalas ng siyang kantiyawan na hawig niya ung isang modelo ng Rejoice.
Masarap kasama si Doriza. Hindi siya maarte. Wala siyang kimi sa pag-kilos. Marahil dahil mulat na siya sa katotohanang ang Tao ay isinilang para mamatay. Ginagawa niya ang lahat ng bagay ng buo ang loob na para bang huling pagkakataon na ito. Sensitibo ako. At ganoon din siya. Mahilig siya sa mga bulaklak na akin namang itinatanim sa aming bakuran. Mahilig akong kumuha ng mga larawan. At laging siya ang aking kinukunan.
Aesthetic siyang tao. Magaling siyang gumuhit at magpinta. Madalas ay siya rin ang nagdi-disenyo ng kanyang mga damit. Tumutugtog din siya ng gitara. Sumusulat din siya ng kanta.
May mga araw na wala lang kaming magawa ay tumatambay kami sa kanila. Nang-gigitara at nag-uusap.
Dito ko na nalaman na siya ay ulilang lubos. Ipinamigay sila ng kanyang ina nung siya ay pitong taon pa lamang. Anim silang mag-kakapatid. Nasa probinsiya ang dalawa at ang iba naman ay nasa Maynila. Mahirap pala ang kanyang pinag-daanan.
Nagpakamatay ang kanyang ama. Naabutan niya itong nakabigti sa kanilang banyo pagka-uwi niya galing sa eskwela. Sinubukan ding lasunin ng kanyang ama, ang kanyang ina at silang magkakapatid. Sa kabutihang palad, nasagip pa rin ang kanyang mga kapatid. Naisugod sila sa ospital sa oras.
Hindi niya maintindihan kung bakit ginawa ito ng kanyang ama. Malakas naman ang kanilang hardware at maayos naman ang relasyon nila ng kanyang ina.
Ito ang malalim na sugat sa kanyang pagka-tao na hinding hindi mo makikita. At hinding hindi na rin maghi-hilom.
At at ang buong akala ko ay solong anak siya ni Atty. Lising!
Isang araw, nagising ako ng balisa. Kahapon kasi ay sinamahan ko siyang mag-grocery. Nahawakan ko ang palad niya at napatitig sa mapungaw niyang mga mata.
Hindi ko na kinaya. Kailangang kumilos. Kailangang umaksiyon. At matapos ang apat na kaha ng Marlboro at maraming tasa ng kape, buo na ang loob ko. Nakapag-pasya na ako.

Doriza,
Marahil ay alam mo na ang dahilan kung bakit ako sumulat sa iyo.
Maraming maraming salamat sa panahon na iniukol mo sa akin. At nais kong aminin sa iyo na mahal na mahal nakita. Marahil ay nakita mo na rin na mangyayari ito. Alam kong mali ang ginagagawa ko. Ngunit di ko na mapigilan ang aking damdamin. Corny noh? Pero totoo.
Mahal na mahal kita. At handa akong mahalin ka ng walang kapalit.
Nagmamahal,
Joel

Nung araw ding iyon, ako ay naghanda na upang lumisan. Umalis ako patungong San Miguel, Bulacan. Dito na ako namalagi hanggang matapos ay bakasyon. Nagpalit na rin ako ng sim card. Tumakbo ako. Lumayo. Pinilit kong limutin ang pag-kakamali na alam kong hindi ko na maitutuwid.
Marahil ay takot lamang ako sa katotohanan. At kung ano ang maaring mangyari.
Hindi ko na tinetext o tinatawagan si Doriza. Hindi ko na rin alam kung may sagot siya saliham ko. Hindi kami nagka-paramdaman, pati na rin si Kuya Dex.
Malapit na ang kapaskuhan. Lumalamig na ang simoy ng hangin. At narito pa rin ang kirot ng aking mga katanungan. Nasaan na kaya siya? Kamusta na kaya siya? Ano kaya ang posibleng nang-yari?
Handa akong lunukin ang lahat para kay Kuya Dex. Handa akong ipag-palit ang lahat para kay Doriza.
Puta.
Puta ba ako?

Alay Kay Querijero

2005-09-17T15:32:00.000+08:00

Alay Kay Querijero

I have seen them all.
Couples holding hands
Watching the sands of the stairs
Of love
Of hate
Of memories
Of oblivion
Of fullness
Of emptiness
Of oneness
Of unity
Of despair
Of hope
And love.
I have seen these children grow
From little boys taken by their brothers
Growing up
Smoking
Agitating
Changing
The sands
The sands of the desert always change.
But the desert remains the same.
The little girls
Grow up with much pulchritude
Love and beauty
Their smells carried by the wind
To far-away seas and sands
And deserts
To be forgotten
To be remembered
To be cherished
To be loved
But the greatest power is the power of the all seeing
Deny him.
Deny his existence.
But still I sing
I wash my hands of my excrements.
I wash my face of all grime and hatred.
The sun rises in the east.
So take my hands.
Hold them.
Many have held them,
But I long to touch yours.
I wash my phallus
My genitals
Touch them
They are yours.
But you must not forget your humanity.
I am free from such bondage.
Let me be.
For I let you be.

I have seen them all.
I have seen the gold rings in their youth.
Of passion
Of love
For the quest
For freedom
For excellence
For emancipation
For being
You must not be like him.
You must not forget.
You are human.
I am.
But I am not.
Hold my hands.
My broken hands
Forgotten then and again
But the vanguards of my fortress remain loyal to me.
They are mine
They cater to my every whim
Every call
Every whisper
Every word
They listen with much anticipation.
Do not throw your empty batteries at me.
I am no slave.
I am.
But I am not.
You see the birds of the sky
The cry of their plumage
In the grey distant sky
They carry the desert
They carry the sand.
They carry everything
In a grain of sand
For all things are one
The past
The future
They matter not.
For man lives only once.
Live
Love
Hope
Believe
And hold hands when you cross the streets.
Do not forget your humanity
Do not forget where you came from
For all things are one and the same
Written by the same hand
Whom you deny
By design
By cosmology
By ontology
Man is not by priori alone.
He exists.
As you are perfect
As I am
You exist.
And that is all that matters to me.
Take my hands.
I do not bite.
There is no more reason for you to fear me.
You are fruit of the belly button
Of a belly dancer

The cry of the wind reckons
Tell the world of my secrets.
I am too old to walk
Hold my hands.
Do this in memory of me.

I have seen one.
I have seen them all.
For all things are one and the same.
Have no fear.
Take my hands.
You and I
Are one

philosophy with no underpants

2005-08-08T12:52:00.000+08:00

believe it or not.

winnie the pooh is one of the best philosophers in the world.

i never get tired of the damn cute bear (squirrel daw sabi ni lizette) with a big booming voice and no underwear save for a perpetuelly red shirt and a big gunk of hunnie/ honey, hani, huni, ha-knee on his hand/ paw/ appendage.

wait. scratch that!

winnie's a feminine name. and he has such a big BOOMING voice.

could it be that shit (contraction of she-he-it) is a tranny?!!!!

but there are no apparent bulges or hints of a pulsating bratwurst below his waistline.

i am sidetracking myself again! sheesh.

*eherm* before i was rudely interrupted by my second guessing-tranny hunting self,
pooh's philosophy lies in...

teka. he is winnie the pooh. ano ang pooh?

salitang nagpapakita ng pag-galang? as in pooh or o-pooh?

sabi ng iba tae daw ang pooh.

pero para naman sa akin, ito ay ang tunog ng tambucho ng kumain ng manga, kamote at itlog!

pooh-tt!

*eherm* before i was rudely interrupted by my second guessing-insufficiently vocabulated self,
pooh's philosophy lies in...

happiness.

occidental philosophy (another big chinese word you would learn from Goldfinger)
states that if man obtains knowledge

then he is happy.

winnie the pooh argues otherwise.

if man is happy

then he attains knowledge.

simpleng buhay.

kumain ng hunnie.
galingan sa spelling.
tumambay kasama ang
isang malnourished na baboy,
lumang stufftoy slash donkey
at tigre na may pogostick sa pwet.

hence i never get tired of the damn cute bear (squirrel daw sabi ni lizette) with a big booming voice and no underwear save for a perpetuelly red shirt and a big gunk of hunnie/ honey, hani, huni, ha-knee on his hand/ paw/ appendage.

ang bundok at ang matanda

2005-08-05T12:47:00.000+08:00

para sa ibang tao,
tayong mga aktibista ay
maihahalitulad sa
isang matandang hingal na nagpapatag ng bundok!

hindi imposibleng maalis ang bundok
kung di lang siya ang magpapatag.
kung lahat ng taong naniniwala sa pinaglalaban natin
ay tutulong, sa pag-alis nito.

ipagpatuloy ang nasimulang laban.
ang bundok ay wala ng ilalaki pa.

kailangan lang nating magtiwala na maalis
ito sa pamamagitan ng pwersa
ng masang naniniwal
ng masang naninindigan!

Alpha Sigma

2005-08-05T12:01:00.000+08:00

Alpha Sigma

hinuhuli ni marcos ang mga grupo ng naghahanap ng pagbabago.
pero kung frat kayo, safe.
may cover.
may maskara.

kung si boni,
may cuerpo de compromisarios
si daddy,
may alpha sigma.

70's.
bellbottoms.
beatle's cut.
tsaleko.
peace medallion.
phillip morris.
martial law.
pinid na mga bibig.
naka-piring na mga mata.
mga nauulila.

at may volkswagen
siya nung araw.

alpha sigma

ayan ang frat ng tatay ko nung araw. nung araw na nag-aaral siya sa Mapua.
alpha sigma.
A-S
alay sa sambayanan.
baduy na siguro kung ASS
at ang mga tambayan niyo ay ASSHOLES.
sagwa naman.
kaya siguro AS.

naging aktibista ang tatay ko nung araw.
kaya naiintindihan niya ako.
radikal mag-isip. progresibo. may leftist inclinations nga lang.

naging aktibista ang tatay ko nung araw.
at wala namang nagbago.

ganito sila noon.
ganito pa rin ngayon.
di ko masisi ang erpat ko.
madyo tama siya.

aktibista.
progresibo.
idolo.
pero walang nagbago.

mula sa masa.
tungo sa masa.
para sa masa.

nag-alay siya sa sambayanan.
pero wala namang nagbago.

ayan ang tatay ko.
tatlong dekada na ang nakakaraan.
manipis ang anit.
malakas pa rin magyosi.

di ko siya masisisi.

the tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of patriots.

inalay ang sarili sa altar ng sambayanan.
para saan?
para sa masa?
para sa wala?

di ko masisisi ang tatay ko.

the BETTER Man

2005-07-08T09:25:00.000+08:00

i knew i was perfect.

i had but one fear.
i was afraid there was someone out there who could tam
the animosity that i was.
that was my only fear.

if there exists one person whom i believe could kill me, then my existence is no longer valid.
modus ponens.

euler circles on the sala.

truth table on the fridge.

i believe have found that person.
i know it could kill me anytime.

hence i have submitted myself to it.
i have conceded.
i am at its mercy.
it has my absolute respect
admiration
love
if
and only if that person,

relinquishes that power...
this blog IS over.

the SOLDIERS of the TREE

2005-07-07T18:22:00.000+08:00

a long long time ago, there was a tree.
this tree gave all the men and women everything they had wanted.
everybody was satisfied.
everybody was happy.

then one night, certain men cut down the tree.
they insulted the people by posting this note on the tree stump,
written with the blood of a shepherd it read,

"IF YOU LOVE ME, FOLLOW ME."

the brave men, young and old alike set out to find the tree.
they held with their hands the twigs of the tree.

they told every village of the magic of the tree.

they told of the love it had for them.

to be continued....

Crossing the street 101

2005-07-07T18:06:00.000+08:00

crossing the street 101

i. to stop or not to stop

shut your eyes and run across the street yelling saklolo.
they are bound to stop.

yell even louder the next time and shout, "MAGNANAKAW!" at the top of your lungs. police assistance is bound to come swooping down from the sky.

hold hands.

maintain eye contact with the driver.

give him or her a kindergaten-stuck-in-heavy-rain-naiwanan-ng-school-bus-look. he or she is bund to stop.

hold hands.

always walk on pedestrian lanes. jaywalking 181 is a major course. this course is a pre-requisite of that subject.

wait for the green light to cross.

practice wth your kid brother. let him use his remote-controlled car. promise him a candy bar and the undying vow that you won't squash his toy.

live. love. cross.

at ang finals....
abangan!

the perfect man

2005-07-07T17:51:00.000+08:00

i believe i am perfect.
i believe that i am invincible.
nothing could kill me.
not a bullet. not a knife. not poison or drugs.
i believe that i can do anything.
there was a time i learned to fly.

i believe that i can do anything.
i believe i could kill anyone and everyon i chose.
i have injured hordes and hordes of men, women and children
mercilessly
ruthlessly
and with such vigor.
i loved blood. i thirsted and craved for it every so often.
i have killed many more.
but one thing i loved the most was the look in their eyes when i struck their mortal blows.
the last rites.
the last prayer.
the last look of defiance.
of guilt
of innocence
of mercy
of anger
of love
of hate.
i have seen them all fall.
authoritites.
traitors.
peers.
young and old alike.
twice
i have almost killed my brother.
i am perfect.
i no longer believe so.
but i know i am perfect.

so die.
die all those who
betray
DON GERONIMO

tips from a loser

2005-07-05T11:44:00.000+08:00

cover your mouth when you sneeze.
check your pockets before leaving home. you may have forgotten your wallet.
know when to rebel.
know whom to rebel against.
your family might be at stake.
never be afraid of death.
death may be discussed in the next blog.
love and let love.
coffee and yosi are the best things in life.
live to 35. it's the only way to live life fully.
life never begins at 40.
who the fuck said that?
screw the damn bastard.
learn to fly.
but keep your feet on the ground.
change your bedsheet weekly.
it is the only way to hide discharges and pimples.
rock and stick it to the man.
when caught smoking, do not deny.
blow it her face and run.
remember that he who lives and runs away,
gets away.
mabuhay ang masang pilipino.
be honest.
it's the only way to live.
swallow anything that needs to be swallowed.
let the love begin.
shoot and think later.
believe.
hold hands when accused.
and raise both hands.
never betray your friends.
never let them get away when they do.
never say you'd commit suicide in class.
the people whom you love will laugh at you.
never engage in frat orientations.
masakit eh.
never fall in love with your bestfriend.
never fall in love with your cousin.
kahit 2nd pa!
beware of bisexuals.
you never know.
always check a beautiful girl's throat.
then the crotch.
she-he-it may be a tranny
true and blue.
always bring your history book.
beware of the writer who goes by the name,
GOLDFINGER.
he may be a blogger too.
one can never be too sure.
always express your feelings.
you never know when you'll die.
expect death like air.
it will come when you seem to have it all.
never watch a movie in the darkest corners.
one never knows.
always expect the better man in life.
and you will find the planet kryptonite.
flunk latin.
but learn from it.
if you don't know the answer,
beer is the answer.
never believe these three rules:

1. the man is always right.
2. never be late.
3. if you don't know what you're doing, go back to rule number one.

life is all about perfection.
believe you are and you shall be.
never let the system eat you.
eat the system.
if you can't call me.
no text. call only.

ayan na muna.
napapa wee-wee na ako.
i'm on my 2nd bottle of redhorse.
rock and stick it to the man.

life is all about believing in what you are,
what you can be and what your potentials are.

2005-06-30T16:17:00.000+08:00

sa loob ng bawat tao
mayroong isa pang nilalang.
isa pa pala.
bale tatlo.

ang tanga
ang takot
ang tapang

ang takot
ay takot sa
tapang
at ang tapang ay takot sa tanga.
at ang tanga ay takot
sa takot.

kung naiintindihan mo,
alam mo na kung bakit may torpe.

at ang takot
ay naging tapang
ang tapang
ay naging tanga
at ang tanga
ay naging tanga.

MGA TANONG NA DI KO TALAGA MASAGOT

2005-06-26T02:33:00.000+08:00

bakit walang out of bounds sa larong gunbound?

bakit walang kusina sa set ng home boy?

bakit walang corn sa corned beef?
niloloko ba nila tayo?

bakit may mga principals na walang prinsipyo sa buhay?
kung meron man, ok lang bang tawagin silang prince or princess?

kung natanggal ang ipin mo. bakit di pweding idikit gamit ang toothpaste?

lahat ba ng mga kolehiyo ay nag-rerequire sa mga estudyante nilang mag-suot ng de-kwelyo?

bakit takot sa pusa si betch?

bakit may mababangong medyas?

bakit nakakatakot marinig ang sigaw ni mishelle sa may batis?

ano ang coaching staff?
ito ba ang pamalong ginagamit ng mga coach pag tamad ang players?

saan nanggaling nag salitang torpe? bakit ginagamit ito sa mga lalaking di marunong manligaw?

sa panliligaw, nililigaw mo ba ang taong nililigawan?
paano kung nawala siya?

ang breakfast ba ang kabaligtaran ng fastbreak?

bakit hindi mahilig mag-dunk si tim duncan?

ka-ano-ano ni tony parker si spiderman?
hawig sila di ba?

bakit walang powder sa powder blue?

bakit ang bagal ng oras sa loob ng physics classroom or chem lab?

bakit kailangang sumigaw si darna?
galit ba siya?

kung walang utility belt si batman,
di ba siya makakapag-transform?

bakit walang gardener sa meteor garden?

bakit walang network sa GAB 1st floor?

bakit walang surname si ate CDRC?

sino si edgar sa parokya ni edgar?
pari ba siya?

bakit mas madaling umakayat sa bundok 'pag mahal mo ang taong kasama mo?

'pag walang ice ang iced tes, iced tea pa ba siya?

ano ang tinatawanan ni ronald mc donald?
bakit di siya magkwento?

saan galing ang galing ng mga magagaling?

bakit hind naman matataas ang toll gates?
pwede ba natin silang tawaging short gates?

ayan ang mga tanong na di ko masagot ngayon.

tsk. tsk.

sana meron kayong sagot sa akin...